i have displeased Master greatly in doing this the past 2-3 days. i cannot give a valid reason, and Master has taken the harshest punishmet i can imagine. i have been denied the braided cable choker that suffices for my daily collar. He believes (rightly) that i have had much behavior unbefitting a slave, and that while i am still in his service, i must earn my collar again. i have no reason why i am feelling utterly defiant. i do know it has to stop. i never want to feel this level of disappointment in myself again. i never want HIM to feel it again.
Master did today allow/suggest that i join a local friend with a vanilla friend. She knows of our lifestyle, and also knows that i have an attitude to work off. Master has given me a time of two weeks to earm my collar by controllong these urges, or truly face His wrath. my hope is to work myself silly at the gym and be too tired to be so bratty and defiant.
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